When you share information with others, how would you speak and act inclusively? How often do you think about whether or not someone has or could possibly walk within your own shoes? Is it possible to normalize your experience without excluding the person with whom you are speaking?
Ableism is a pervasive issue that often goes unnoticed in our daily lives. It refers to discrimination or prejudice against people with disabilities be they physical or invisible (like mental health issues or similarly related to any stereotypes), rooted in the belief that non-disabled individuals are inherently superior. This article explores how ableist language and behavior manifest—often unconsciously and prevent us from achieving more as a community.
While we have filed this topic under “unconscious” with the keyword “bias”, to speak and act inclusively is a topic that could also be part of self care or shadow work, as it involves insights from those perspectives. Each of us may interpret their own brand of “woke” from their loved experiences. We hope that by reading it, you may learn to take actionable steps to foster inclusivity, not to be “right” but to help pave the way for positive changes. We are all in this together.
What Is Ableism?
Ableism operates on multiple levels, from systemic barriers to personal interactions. It includes:
- Denying access or accommodations to people with disabilities.
- Using stereotypes or assumptions about someone’s abilities (sometimes including your own).
- Employing language that demeans or devalues disabled individuals.
Even well-meaning individuals may unknowingly perpetuate ableism due to its normalization in society134. Our culture tends to focus on what is wrong rather on what is going well, as is observable by the news. Being sensitive to other people means also being able to ask them what terms they prefer to use to describe themselves, not just about their preferred pronouns.
When someone is in a wheelchair, do they automatically think of themselves as someone with “a disability”? That person may have another set of terms for it. It may not be a permanent condition for some, for instance. What if this condition is something that has not prevented someone from working? To speak and act inclusively means to consider a diverse set of possibilities, including those we may not have encountered before.
Our ideas on what makes a label “valid” are going to be fluid depending on the situation. Some people like to advocate for the label “diverse abilities” for instance, and similarly, the annual conference for these like-minded people is called the Abilities Expo. More information about this national conference can be found at https://www.abilities.com/
Examples of Ableist Language
Everyday phrases often carry ableist undertones, reinforcing harmful stereotypes. Here are some common examples:
- “That idea is so lame.” Historically used to describe physical impairments, this term equates disability with inferiority 6.
- “I’m so OCD about cleaning.” Misusing medical terms trivializes real experiences of individuals with mental health conditions 8.
- “Are you blind?” This implies ignorance and perpetuates negative connotations about visual impairments 1 2.
Alternatives to Ableist Language with Alternative Words to Speak and Act Inclusively
Instead of using ableist terms, opt to speak and act inclusively by sharing neutral or descriptive alternatives. If you are talking about someone who is with you, ask them about the phrasing they prefer. Words, especially the kind that feel like labels are often very personal and may feel harmful even with the best intentions. If it makes sense to use a neutral or even positive alternative, consider using that instead.
| Ableist Term (really not appropriate) | Possible Alternative (to speak and act inclusively as needed) |
| Lame | Unfair, disappointing, deliberate, meditative |
| Addict | Person experiencing substance abuse issues |
| Crazy | Unbelievable, intense, beautiful, brilliant |
| Homeless | Unhoused, Houseless, person experiencing homelessness |
| They are schizophrenic (or He/She is schizophrenic) | They are a person with schizophrenia (or He/She is a person who has been diagnosed with schizophrenia) 29 |
| Dumb | Unclear, confusing, overly-simplistic, not always reliable, careless |
| Unsuccessful suicide/ Committed suicide | Attempted to kill themself/ Died by suicide, |
Ableist Behaviors to Avoid
Ableism extends beyond words into actions and attitudes. Some examples include:
- Speaking slowly or patronizingly to someone with a disability5. For instance, the action of speaking up more slowly or loudly when talking to elders or with people who speak with any “foreign” accent can seem second nature to some. However, it is not always a necessary action, and can be off-putting to those on the receiving end. It’s best to clear the air by not making any assumptions. Acknowledging your own feelings first with “I” statements is usually a good first move.
- Assuming a person isn’t disabled because their condition isn’t visible 4. This includes assuming a person can walk, run, sit, or stand for hours at a time. Speak and act inclusively in a workplace to provide accommodations for anyone who requests it respectfully and without prejudice.
- Touching mobility aids (like wheelchairs) without permission3. It’s important to show respect for a person’s belongings in the same way we would respond to each other’s touch with our bodies. Mobility aids may be as important as clothes to a person who doesn’t want to be naked.
- The behavior of using or avoiding direct eye contact can be cultural. Like touching another person’s body, it may be helpful to ask politely for permission rather than assuming what another person thinks about what makes each of us more comfortable.
How to Change Your Behavior and Language to Speak and Act Inclusively
1. Build Awareness about Ableism
Recognize your biases by reflecting on your language and actions. Keep a journal to track instances where you might have used ableist terms and brainstorm alternatives6. Another way to keep track while building awareness especially if you yourself have a disability is to use a website, social media account, newsletter, podcast, vlog, or blog and share your ideas with friends.
2. Educate Yourself so that You Can Speak and Act Inclusively
Learn from resources like disability advocates, books, and workshops. For example, Stella Young’s work on “inspiration porn” highlights how treating disabled individuals as objects of inspiration can be dehumanizing4. Here is 10 minute video from Stella Young’s TED talk in Sydney in 2014. She talks about being a real person, and not just there to inspire (like porn) as an exception with disability. Her closing statement is that “Disability isn’t what makes you exceptional, but questioning what you know about it does.”
Fun facts:
- Did you know that there is a nonprofit (ABSF) that provides opportunities for visually impaired or legally blind people to ski?
- There are very special camps including Mountain Respite Camp which helps bring people with mental health issues (or psychiatric disabilities) together.
- Each Region will have an Independent Living Center. For instance Communities Actively Living Independent and Free (CALIF-ILC) has been around for over 20 years helping people with housing, access to transportation, in-home supportive services, and other disability needs.
3. Practice Inclusive Language
By committing to replacing ableist phrases with respectful alternatives, we can support a larger community. For instance we may use tools like pocket guides or apps for real-time support in conversations 6 8. It may be difficult at first to use a new vocabulary, so consider joining free local or online workshops or webinars from disability advocates.
It helps to have people to keep you accountable while being mindful of people who might not be using inclusive language. When among people who share their biases, it’s not your job to teach them, but it is an opportunity to flex your new vocabulary if you think it’s appropriate. Regardless of what happens, such conflicts are perfect anecdotes for journal entries (from step 1).
Using person first language, meaning including sharing the word “person” such as “Person experiencing homelessness” is usually preferable and more respectful than calling someone simply “homeless”.
4. Seek Feedback Speak and Act Inclusively with Language and Behavior Changes
Invite friends or colleagues to hold you accountable for your language and behavior. It may be helpful to build a larger and more diverse group of friends for this very reason, especially if your career depends on meaningful social relationships. Constructive feedback can help you grow more mindful over time6. Aside from senior centers, Wellness groups, or Abilities conference, maybe ask your friends and families if any of them consider themselves or someone close to them to have a disability. The answer might surprise you, as this can be a complicated issue for many.
5. Advocate for Accessibility
Whether at work or in public spaces, push for accommodations that ensure inclusivity—like ramps, captioning, or sensory-friendly environments 7. If someone might need help, rather than assuming they need help because you think they might have a disability, you could ask them if they want help first. Many cities offer those who cannot afford to install ramps or similar accommodations financial assistance when they meet certain guidelines. This may be a reason for a visit to a local regional independent living center.
For those with invisible abilities, speaking carefully about mental health by using mindfulness and tactful but compassionate reflective listening skills when possible not only encourages others but reinforces your own sense of self-worth. A simple reflective listening tool is literally repeating what someone says and asking a question about that by changing the direction of your phrasing, inflecting your tone upwards at the end of the phrase. Rather than rushing into our usual rants and critiques of what might be going wrong in our day, do you think this empathetic approach might help you improve your relationships?
Why it Matters to Speak and Act Inclusively
Changing our language and behavior isn’t just about avoiding offense—it’s about creating a world where everyone feels valued and respected. By addressing unconscious biases and making intentional changes, we can dismantle the subtle but harmful ways ableism persists in society.
Let’s help ourselves and our loved ones out by fostering an environment of empathy and inclusion—one word at a time in each conversation and one actionable step by step of each journey.
Citations:
- https://www.tpgi.com/understanding-disability-ableism/
- https://news.nnlm.gov/region_7/2022/08/01/what-is-ableism-and-how-is-it-a-part-of-the-everyday-language-we-use-at-the-library/
- https://www.washington.edu/doit/ableism-everyday-language
- https://www.umassp.edu/inclusive-by-design/disability-inclusion-understanding-bias-etiquette-and-more/recognizing-personal
- https://grownmag.com/lifestyle/youre-ableist-and-you-dont-even-know/
- https://britthawthorne.com/blog/ableist-language/
- https://www.painscale.com/article/5-tips-for-dealing-with-ableism
- https://emtrain.com/blog/diversity/ableist-language-to-avoid-and-alternatives/
- https://hbr.org/2020/12/why-you-need-to-stop-using-these-words-and-phrases
- https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/ableism
- http://deareverybody.hollandbloorview.ca/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/DearEverybodyTipsonAbleistLanguage2018-19.pdf
- https://www.perkins.org/how-you-can-help-break-the-cycle-of-everyday-ableism/
- https://diymfa.com/writing/finding-alternatives-to-ableist-language/
- https://www.rabbitwitharedpen.com/blog/ableism
- https://www.accessliving.org/newsroom/blog/ableism-101/
- https://www.sheribyrnehaber.com/phrases-that-you-might-not-realize-are-ableist/
- https://developdiverse.com/deib_dictionary/ableism/
- https://bsu.libguides.com/antiableism
- https://it.uw.edu/guides/identity-diversity-inclusion/inclusive-language-guide/
- https://www.verywellmind.com/types-of-ableist-language-and-what-to-say-instead-5201561
- https://www.sense.org.uk/information-and-advice/life-with-complex-disabilities/ableism-and-disablism/
- https://libguides.pratt.edu/disability/ableism
- https://ncdj.org/style-guide/
- https://www.reddit.com/r/AutismInWomen/comments/18sgcbv/subtle_ableism_youve_encountered/
- https://theconversation.com/ableism-and-disablism-how-to-spot-them-and-how-we-can-all-do-better-204541
- https://www.c-q-l.org/resources/articles/conscious-and-unconscious-disability-attitudes/
- https://www.ucu.org.uk/media/11222/Everyday-Ableism/pdf/Everyday_Ableism.pdf
- https://www.unr.edu/nevada-today/blogs/2020/avoiding-ableist-terminology
- https://adata.org/factsheet/ADANN-writing
- Perplexity.ai assisted with research and writing for this article
Images from this article were created by individuals from Pixabay and Unsplash. See each image for details.
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